28 July 2011

STILL picking up the pieces...

This may not mean much to any of you, but for those who are in the whole correspondence or communication loop of whatever you're doing... you might sympathize.

Most know my computer crashed 4 months ago aaaaaand... my whole partner list organization files went with it. The good news is, we were able to salvage that up to last December (whew!). The bad news is, my new laptop is a Mac and my partner organizer program Donor Manager only runs on PC. The good news is, I have parallels on my Mac. The other good news is I was able to import my names/addresses into Donor Manager on my Mac parallels. The bad news is, nothing but names, addresses, and phone numbers imported.

So... my today and tomorrow will consist of fixing, correcting, importing, and updating 520+ partner records. The bad news is, this is time intensive (and is straining my already bad memory =p). The good news is... it's making me feel productive and organized. The best news is that when it's all said and done, I'll be more updated and organized than ever before!!

Which reminds me... it's time to backup my laptop... ;-)

So, if you are a *very important, appreciated, and loved* prayer supporter or partner of mine, and are wondering why you've not received a personal note or email from me in 4 months... thank you for your patience. It's coming.

25 July 2011

HIS very own

I've been home for two and a half weeks now... and the emotions have been up and down, but not too tumultuous... praise Jesus. I'm thankful. Very thankful. For so many things... so many people... so many precious lessons and life experiences that He's given me.

It's become very clear to me in the last couple weeks, that my heart is stubbornly rebellious and very fickle/two-sided. That's the bad news. But it's nothing new, and the good news is that it doesn't come as a surprise to my God. He knew all along, which is why He sent my Jesus down to pour out His blood and claim it as His own. This is the other thing He's made very clear, just today, as the words poured out of my mouth to a precious prayer partner: this messed up, rebellious, fickle heart of mine is HIS. And He tells me He doesn't see it the same way I do... because He looks through the lens of His Son. He calls me blameless, righteous, consecrated... and He calls my messy heart HIS OWN. With this simple reminder came much relief.

In this season of transition, He's saying, "Open your hands. Trust Me... open your hands..." You see, I did fall in love with the people of Africa. (I didn't expect to, but He knew I would before I went, and He sent me there.) Yet He has made it beyond clear that He has ordered my steps in this next season... in this other direction... and knows the path He has appointed for me to walk in. And He's reminding me if I stand here, looking back at what was a good gift, hands closed tightly around these people, these relationships... then I am not trusting Him in this next step or open to receiving with open hands the good gifts He has for me in this new season, this next step. He gives and He takes away, and He is worthy of my praise. He knows the loss. He knows the heartache. He knows the withdrawals we are all feeling. And, in a realm beyond our ability to see, He continues weaving together the strands of our lives... some to cross again and some to go in different directions and not to meet again till heaven. And He smiles... because He sees the finished picture, and it is gloriously beautiful.

Today, He reminds me... He has accepted my messy heart, so up and down, so desperately wanting to obey instantly in whatever He asks in one moment yet so rebellious in wanting to cling to what I want in the next. But the beautiful reality is this: He owns my heart. It is not mine... to keep or to give away. It is HIS. And I have the blessed assurance that the decision was already made long ago... that I would follow, no matter what He asked, no matter what it cost. My heart doesn't have a say... but the One who formed and created it, the One who knows its inner workings even better than I... He is the same One who ransomed and redeemed it... and I can say with Paul, "... I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day" (2 Timothy 1:12b, NASB). 

Worthy, worthy, worthy. He is WORTHY.

23 July 2011

.amy carmichael.

Oh Jesus, give me a "love that laughs at limits--rather, does not see them, and would not heed them if it did."

22 July 2011

oh, and there's more...

More sign confusion... ;-) From lunch today while out touring colleges with my kid bro in Salem/Corvallis/Monmouth area.

16 July 2011

"i'm a linguist..." ???

Went for a run down our road this morning (there's no place I'd rather run than here in the evergreen trees and mountains of southern Oregon... truly...) when I passed a street sign... and had the terrible realization that--for the last 5 years of living here--I've been spelling the name of our street WRONG!!!! It's not McMullen... it's McMullin! Um... that's embarrassing. 5 years and about 2,000 mailing address labels later... sheesh!  Strike 1 against a self-proclaimed linguist... who can't spell her own permanent address. :-\

But this self-proclaimed linguist did finally figure out how to get my virtual Amharic keyboard to work on my laptop.   ... I know I'm a nerd. No comments necessary.

Psalms 117:1 
አሕዛብ ሁላችሁ፥ እግዚአብሔርን አመስግኑት፥ ወገኖችም ሁሉ ያመስግኑት፤
(መዝሙረ ዳዊት 1171) 

14 July 2011

it's the unexpected things

Whew. I'm done jeans shopping. Not a fan. But it's done. I have new jeans. And I'm set for the next two years.

I've decided that the US medical system asks too many personal questions. I seriously doubt they need to know many of the questions they ask you. It's overwhelming.

Four more things that have surprised me upon coming home...
-- air conditioning everywhere indoors. Something we didn't have in Africa. and I'm perpetually freezing.
-- ok, sorry, but super-honest moment: the amount of fat people in the States.
-- women in shorts & spaghetti strap tank tops... I've seen a lot of skin this last week, and it's not even that hot.
-- how talkative random strangers are in public, at least here in Oregon. I don't care what people say, Americans are genuinely friendly.

Four things I've loving about being home...
-- my family
-- soaking up being in the trees & mountains of southern Oregon... it's such a peaceful haven where my soul can rest
-- running each morning
-- having access to a piano =)

12 July 2011

ahhhh... man

So... I've already driven, gone out by myself, eaten a Papa Murphy's Gourmet Vegetarian Pizza (best on the planet, btw -- yes, I dare you to challenge me on this), played the piano (joy!), and gone for a blissful run down our road. I'm also loving being with my parents and youngest sibs -- and thoroughly appreciating my kid brother's hilarious sense of humor. =) It's unique, and I've missed it.

Speaking of missing... it's beginning to sink in that I'm home and not going back anytime soon. The first wave hit today, as each time I'm at a store, I think, "Oh! The guys need/could totally use/enjoy that." Then I realize, I can't just buy it and drive it back to DOOR... nor is there any present way of getting it to them... so I put it back and walk away. And my heart constricts.

Oh... and as I suspected, living in a community with Indians for 9 months HAS completely ruined my sense of "spicy." I ordered Kung Pao chicken for lunch on the way home and got halfway through it wondering if they forgot to add the chilies because I couldn't taste a hint of spicy-ness... then I found three at the bottom of the plate. And, I've also been horrified to find that NONE of the grocery stores, supermarkets, or even the local farmer's market sell the little green chilies that we used almost everyday in Nairobi! *gasp* Now what?

Finally, can I just say... I know we're pretty international in our food varieties here in the US... but please, please US food joints not run by international staff... please don't slap the title "Thai" on a menu item just because you made it with peanut sauce. It's a disgrace. If it includes coconut milk, lemongrass, red curry, or shallots, etc... ok, you may use the title... but peanut sauce doesn't make it Thai. =p

08 July 2011

arriving back on US soil

Shock #1 -- U.S. Customer Service. My friends, you have NOTHING to complain about. It's stellar!

Shock #2 -- Standing one of many security lines coming back through immigrations, customs, etc. in Dallas, TX and being surrounded by hispanics speaking spanish. In the last 9 months, I've seen 1 hispanic who spoke spanish. What!?!?

Shock #3 -- hearing American idioms and phrases in passing conversations. I feel a little out-of-the-loop!

[Edit: Shock #4 -- the music plays for me on my blog again!!! Music doesn't stream on playlist in Africa!!!!]

Praise #1 -- a VERY nice, friendly, welcoming immigrations officer coming back into the US. I've heard horror stories... so I was relieved and grateful. =)

Praise #2 -- His grace is sufficient. For peace and His very near presence holding my heart together in all the goodbyes and missing precious faces.

[Edit: Praise #3 -- Thank you, Seattle-Tacoma airport for your generosity in the form of free wireless access!!! London & Dallas... you've some catching up to do.]

Another 10 hours and 2 flights, and I'll greet my family in Oregon. =)

05 July 2011

T-minus 49 hours

At T-minus 58 hours, my precious little 2 and a half year old Gracie came running into my arms with a card in hand. It simply said: "Hope you will be back soon." She wrapped her arms tight around me and buried her face in my chest... and I almost lost it. She seemed to know I needed the hug, and stayed to snuggle for 30 minutes. As we sat there on my entryway floor, everything in me wished time would freeze.

Right now, my life consists of cherishing the little, insignificant moments doing normal, everyday things... treasuring each moment with these people who have somehow become so tangled up inside my heart. And praising, rejoicing, and thanking God for the blessing of having had them to love.

with God's grace... future world-changers

02 July 2011

Things I never did before coming to Kenya...

Preach. Not what I'd consider preaching in an "American Christianity" I'm-a-trained-pastor context... but my Deaf colleagues call it preaching. And, they tell me it's legit. I'm baffled.

Super-infuse my cooking with spice. Example: using close to 3 dozen hot green chiles in one dish, or using a whole garlic cluster in a dish for two people. Um... Either I always buy "duds" or I'm becoming desensitized. Hey, at least the garlic is a natural mosquito repellant, eh? ;)

Wash all my fruits and vegetables with soap before eating them.

Pay $1.66 (grand total) for transport on an all-day outing. This included a motorbike taxi, two city buses, and two mini 14-passenger van "taxis'. Oh, and another $1.09 for a camel ride. ;)

Play darts. And Wii.

Watch movies and television on mute.

Shake hands like it's going out of style. Quite frankly, this is something I'm going to really miss.

Battle with such maladies as mumps, acid-burning flies, bed bugs, amoeba, and intestinal worms. I know that's probably TMI... but it's 100% real life here.