.presentness. .eternity.

For what feels like the first time in my life, I've been living in the present. Not just living for the next trip, the next appointment, the next job, the next meeting. Today. Like today is all there is. Not in a sentimental, super-spiritual sense. But in a daily life sense. When it comes to communicating in the Deaf-world, there is no multi-tasking. When we are communicating, that's all we're doing. There's no, I'm-talking-with-you-but-thinking-about-something-else-and-washing-dishes-at-the-same-time. It's just me, them, and conversation. In a way, it's beautiful. It's attention and focus. It's present-ness.

However, at the same time, the Lord opened my eyes with fresh perspective last night. While it's good to be present, it's also vital to maintain a "big picture" perspective. One mustn't exist without the other.

"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt of every situation you believe to be the will of God." --Jim Elliot

What feels like forever ago, I worked as a high school interpreter. And the thing that struck me most about the younger high school kids was their tunnel-vision. Their entire worlds caved in over little things like not being asked by a certain person to homecoming, or not making the audition for a school play. Minor, minor issues in the grand scheme of life. Yet, it was everything to them. For many of them, it was as if high school was all that existed in their world -- they couldn't seem to see beyond the 12th grade. Their whole world was here & now: high school.

I've realized I've become very much like those high-school students the last month or so. While I love being here at DOOR, living in the present, and this new life that has become so everyday normal and familiar to me... I have found myself being so emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted over the littlest of things. While I have a "big picture" vision, I find it easy to lose in the midst of pouring my energy and heart into being present. To begin to live like this is all there is... these people, this place, this task. He's reminding there is much more... beyond this. So while I feel Him calling me to be present, to pour out, and to invest... this is not the place to put down roots, no matter how much I've grown to love the people in this place. No matter how comfortable and familiar it is. No matter how much I fear the pain of saying goodbye.

Holding my hand, my Jesus again pulls me to the edge of the unknown, and points beyond the familiar... "See there, my beloved... come with me further. Don't pitch your tent. This is not the end. In fact, the journey has still only just begun."

Presentness.
Eternity.
Perspective.
Jesus. My Jesus.
He is the beginning of all things, and HE is the end.