.this. keeps me on my knees

Nothing like a sucker punch to the gut first thing in the morning, right? Reading bits and pieces of Jim Elliot's journals ... and this morning's.... man. this sends me to, and keeps me on, my knees.

"We were most interested in what you had to say about transporting an American culture pattern to another land ...this is what I've been talking about for the past two years!! It is what every American has been doing here in Australia (with one or two exceptions). With it all goes a most repelling attitude of superiority, which is not only expressed in the desire to superimpose American ways and methods on a people who have an already established pattern of life, but in a personal patronizing attitude. It is enough to make one weep! It has caused difficulty in every sphere where Americans have tried to work with Australians (especially in Christian work). That's why I have pleaded that Americans should stay home until and unless they are prepared to impose themselves on other peoples with a much different attitude of mind and heart, with a love that melts all barriers and prejudices and rests in the sure knowledge of a life really devoted to God and not to any national spirit." 

(excerpt from The Journals of Jim Elliot, quoted from a letter to Elisabeth from a friend, Jan Brooks, working in Australia. emphasis mine)

...this has so been on my heart these past weeks... I'm clinging to the promise in Romans 5:5 ("...He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love"). Pleading, asking for more, more, more of HIS LOVE to fill to overflowing, displacing all my own weak, human, failing love... and spilling out and over to the ones who are so dear and precious to Him... and also to me.