how to fold the laundry (married life musings)

You know, those ingrained habits we all have? Those ones we don’t see until suddenly someone else is there and, somehow, someway, revealing all these things you were unaware of about yourself?

Like, how you fold your laundry. Or that you actually, like, had deeply rooted feelings related to how the laundry is folded. I mean, c’mon, really? Who cares? Well, apparently you did. Hah! Joke’s on you.

Thirds or quarters? Length-wise or width-wise. Put in the cabinet facing backwards or forwards? Fold out or in?

But the biggest question is: Does it really, freaking, matter? Well… No. But then again, kinda yes.

No, it doesn’t matter, ultimately. There is no right or wrong way to fold laundry. There are “more effective” ways, and “less wrinkling” ways, and “space saving” ways… but there is no law or rulebook on how laundry MUST be folded. Just as there is no law or rulebook on how you should wash laundry, or how your should take a shower (with or without water spraying against the wall or straight down or whatever), or how you should cut vegetables up, or when you should take the garbage out, or what categories your should organize your bookshelf into, or how to squeeze that infamous toothpaste tube. But sometimes… it certainly feels like there should have been a rulebook… Am I right?

Now, I had always considered myself quite flexible. I mean, seriously… I have moved over a dozen times in the last 8 years, living in multiple countries (sometimes at the same time), learning bits and pieces of multiple spoken languages, not to mention countless sign languages. Crossing cultures and adapting… All the time. I’ve had more roommates in the last decade of my life than I can count (no, really… more than I can count). So… I figured, yeah… I’m set. This whole adapting thing will be no sweat. WRONG.

My last roommate before marriage was the best and worst thing for me. Our relationship and living together was effortless. Like, we never, ever had to think or talk about it. It just meshed, and flowed, and sailed along with all the ease of a tailwind. A blessing, because she came a crucial, stressful and overwhelming season of my life and job and just picked up all the pieces and wove them into something organized, manageable, and shared. And, though we’ve traveled the world together, shared hotel rooms, shared clothes and food, and shared some crazy experiences… honestly, I have no idea how she folded the laundry. Whether she kept all her preferences in check (I doubt this, highly – nobody can do that for 2 years living with outspoken me) or we just complimented each other that well… it did not prepare me for switching to a lifemate, who isn’t even going to try to hide preferences… because this is supposed to be about middle ground and compromises and blended lives.

So back to the laundry… in this and many other things, I’m learning to let go of how I think it should be done, and just rejoice that I have a Love and Life-mate who wants and enjoys doing things like helping fold laundry, wash dishes, clean the house, cook meals, etc. I am so thankful. And yes, in some ways, it does kinda matter how you fold those towels, pillow cases, and blankets. Before, when they were thrown in the box on top of my closet, you had to fold them to fit into the box. But now that they go in that new cabinet, the old way of folding them no longer works – cause they stick out and prevent the doors from closing. So, even this girl with all her particularities, it learning how to re-train and re-fold. And, get this, all our randomly sized and shaped towels and blankets all have to be folded differently depending on their shape/size because they won’t fit into the cabinet any other way. Bahahahaha… don’t tell me God doesn’t have a sense of humor. Or that He doesn’t have a vested interest in continually pushing me beyond my own personal boundaries. Smile. Cause He does.

In conclusion: I love the lessons and stretching of married life. I love my husband. I love this new journey we are on together. And yes, I will give up my unspoken rulebook all over again and again, for this beautiful adventure of compromise and blending lives.