04 March 2012

internalized

I've been signing American Sign Language (ASL) for years... almost 12 years, in fact. And started using sign language almost 17 years ago. I could communicate just about anything I wanted in ASL.

Then I moved to Kenya. To an international Deaf training center, where I became completely immersed in Kenyan Sign Language (KSL). Day and night. Work and play. 24/7. For 9 months. And, the transition from ASL-->mixed blend-->KSL was a rapid one. Conversations, jokes, stories, arguments, meetings, work, and play... all in KSL.

But this is what amazes me... Bible studies, church services, sermons, worship, fellowship, prayer time... all in KSL. In fact, in my last 4 months in Kenya, I stopped going to hearing church services all together. All my spiritual nourishment came from my time in Deaf fellowships under Deaf church leaders, during exegetical conversations over translating passages with Deaf colleagues, and my own personal time in the Word. (All but the latter, in KSL.)

Never before, in all my years of signing, had I felt that English was inadequate to express my heart to the Lord. But, in the months following my return to the USA from Kenya... I found myself subconsciously, instinctively switching to KSL in my alone prayer time, because the spoken English words fail me, and I knew I could express my thoughts clearly in KSL. (In the past, I'd never felt the need to pray in ASL in my one-on-one time with God!)

Somewhere along the way, somehow, what was once external, I had internalized. And, I think--as I've been unable to determine why I've felt so reluctant (and slightly scared, honestly) to lose KSL in an effort to switch back into ASL or any other SL--I've finally found one of the reasons. KSL was the venue through which my personal language of identity shifted.

Even now, 8 months since leaving East Africa, I still think (both internally and aloud) and often pray in Kenyan Sign Language... even if only in my head. I guess it's in there deep. However, in all my travels this spring, and all the exposure to more and more SLs, my own SL is morphing into an international hodge-podge. Ha! Yet I still find it easier to express myself in SL, where I have more dimensions at my disposal, more visual resources, more spatial freedom.... =)
“I cannot explain or understand how a language like Sign Language- the richest in expression, the most energetic...is still neglected and that only the Deaf speak it. This is ... one of the irrationalities of the human mind I cannot explain.” (Pierre Desloge)

3 comments:

Harry said...

These are rhetorical questions for thinking and not necessarily for replies.

• Can this deep learning of a sign language be duplicated elsewhere?

• What conditions would be necessary for this duplication?

• How much is dependent on the language learner?

• How big a factor is motivation?

• Did others learn KSL as well as you? Why or why not?

Beth said...

These are objective questions to a personal, subjective experience, Harry. The latter makes it basically impossible for me to answer you objectively. But...

* Certainly this deep learning can be duplicated elsewhere... I'm not the only person in the world who can have such an experience of internalizing a sign language.

* The conditions include immersion, proactivity, personal motivation, teachability, respect & love for the people who are your teachers. A good attitude goes a long way.

* How much is dependent on the language learner? Good question. Because you, ideally, should have an environment catered to near immersion. But even in Kenya, within that international Deaf environment, a huge percent is dependent on the language learner to actually take advantage of the environment and DIVE IN. If the environment is there, I'd say 90% is dependent on the language learner. 10% on the Deaf users (their welcoming you in as students of their language & culture). If the environment is not there, then those percentages change... because you have to factor in finding the environment as another element.

* Motivation is a factor. But even motivation without proactivity is moot. You can be motivated, but still make meager attempts... especially if you come from a cultural background that does not encourage asserting oneself.

* I reserve the right to not answer the last question(s).

Again... this is experiential subjectivity. Additionally, there were three other background factors which came into play for me that won't (necessarily) for others.

A) I already had a solid grasp of ASL, which means I already had an internal understanding of how SL can "work." I'd also been exposed to others and taken SL Linguistics courses previous to my coming.

B) I was able to start learning and using SL before the end of the average language learning acquisition age range. This means my mind was able to soak it up with more ease than an adult learner would experience.

C) Also, my interpreting training & experience had given me much physical confidence in using my whole body (hands, arms, shoulders, torso, legs, feet, face, eyebrows, nose, cheeks, etc.) to facilitate communication. First time SL learning can be a very self-conscious, awkward experience requiring lots of physical contact and use of different parts of your body in cooperation with each other to communicate. Hence, one of the reasons why some SL learners are known for having NO facial expression. It's uncomfortable/weird/awkward/"funny-looking."

I will not assert that any/every one dropped into the same environment would have a similar experience. Though, that would be nice. :-) They'd be the richer for it.

Beth said...

Hey Harry -- follow up to your third question of "How much is dependent on the language learner?" I've been re-thinking my answer.

On a recent trip in southeast Asia, I had a hearing colleague who is learning ASL (and, on that trip, the local SL) say of the Deaf Asian woman she was communicating with, "She is an amazing teacher -- she meets me in my growth zone." *lightbulb*

When I pressed further, my colleague said the Deaf Asian woman was slowly, in the course of the day, adding in new signs. She told my colleague, "When I give you a new sign, accept it, use it, and just throw out the ASL sign you had before I gave you a new sign."

I had experienced the same interaction with this Deaf woman and others in the area. They are excellent teachers. This was the same among the Kenyan Deaf I interacted with. They met me where I was at and led me into their SL, until that's all I was using. This is probably why I found the SL in this same Asian country easier to learn than in another Asian country much further North (where the Deaf I interacted with didn't make adjustments for me - but expected me to jump in and switch. There was no transitioning process).

So yes. Much depends on the language learner. But, there is also something to be said for a growth zone of transitioning -- building the bridge between the language you're leaving and the language you're entering.